Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
