weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
