he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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