Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
my poor anus
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
