sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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