ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
