if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
