Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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