What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
