Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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