Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
