scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Did I show you my penis last night?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
