My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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