We're facebook friends in real life
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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