Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Randomize
