btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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