Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Randomize
