Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I have fence marks all over my body
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
