So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
