I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
