Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
