i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
