i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize