before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
