My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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