Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
