it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
