Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
