the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
