She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
