you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Couch. On fire.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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