i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
