her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize