we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
