So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
