so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
