That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
