glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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