Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
