Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
