My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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