I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
