I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
