I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
