He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
