Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize