She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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