fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
