He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
