Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
honey bunches of taint.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
