I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
