Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize