What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
