grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Buhtt sex?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
