youre lurking in front of me
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
