Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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