So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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