I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
