it was like eating out sand paper
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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