yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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