We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize