So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
